Art of detachment

 hello everyone!!

hope all of you are happy and healthy <3

today's topic is about detachment....why is it sometimes necessary to detach from people? is it not always good to stay together in groups?...actually no...for years i thought the same...stay in group and you are fine...as a woman it is safer...physically..well most of the time..but mentally? not necessarily...not most of the time...

Sometimes detachment from people you are closest to is also very important for your own mental peace...it is good for the person before you as well...after an age of 15 (i believe) you should start setting boundaries with everyone...even with your parents because if you don't they start to feel a constant urge to control your life...to control the decisions you are supposed to make..parents always want you to not make mistakes...but i believe as a teen you should make mistakes and learn to come out of it (please don't take it as you can keep making mistakes...that's not the point)...parents start feeling as if they always need to be there for you though they don't realise it...when you detach, keep to yourself more and tell them what they NEED to know and not what they WANT to know...they start realising that you've become mature and capable enough to take care of yourself...most of all they start realising that you don't need their constant advice in every aspect and decision of your life...This is what i think should be your first step towards independence...privacy is not given over night...you earn it..through behavioural changes...what teens usually do is...after a fight happens in the house you think "from today i won't speak to them and will never tell them anything" well nothing is changing in that because it is just instant anger and nothing else...the next day they buy you something or you just forget about it and everything goes back to normal...you never are really grown in their eyes unless they feel like you do not need them anymore...well yes that will build sadness in them but it is something that will happen someday or the other...and you might feel guilty for not opening up totally like before but again you need to move on in life and make your own decisions...you should make friends...of course but you should always know boundaries...imagine you made a best friend or a close friend...or maybe just a friend and you end up in a big fight with them and they know your secrets...now they go around telling your secrets to everyone...

i don't even have a best friend...unless you are really really sure about them..you know their nature....their behaviour really really well...or do not care about others knowing your personal things don't share anything with anyone..nobody is your own in this world other than you...you know as they say "the less you cling..the more you flow"

thank you <3

27-06-2026

THE CHANGES IN ME (ACADEMICS)

 hello everyone...
hope all of you are doing well and good...actually right now im very packed stressing about my 12th boards (which isn't really resulting in studying hard)...anyways this week was really tough for me...especially the last 3 days and midst that i realized certain changes that has occured in me over many years as a student...so today's topic is "the change in me"

until 7th i was a really bright and competitive student...if anyone ever fought with me or questioned my capabilities I always made sure I scored more than that student... I never wasted my time talking back or degrading them either...all I did was study really hard and bring better marks than him/her...it gave me the feeling that they had lost and I felt that I had done something actually useful rather than wasting my time fighting with the student verbally...

things changed after lockdown and I did realise it but I don't know why I did not care...during lockdown I did sometimes think that "I am not studying like before" "I will fall back if I dont catch up to my studies now" but I never ACTUALLY made a step to work on it...that was my first terrible mistake and I had not shared this with my family or my friends so that they could help...by half of 7th or almost by the end our school had reopened... I no longer felt the urge to compete with other well studying students of my class or with students who hated me or discriminated me because I was a south indian with an accent and weird short hair... I just did not care about who did what...if they fought with me I prefered yelling and fighting back... I would say 9th and 10th was my WORST academic year... I was a depressed kid in 9th who would come to school with zero hours of sleep at night and a flask filled with coffee no milk and no sugar... I slept through math lecture... I did not realise when i went from the first bench student to the last bench student...my marks were the highest in science and now it was almost the lowest (math was the worst for me)...

I realised I crossed all the limits academically and believed can no longer be the "topper" anymore when for the first time in pre boards of 10th our results were announced in class and a girl was crying cuz she scored 76 out of 80 and once she used to be the student who was really poor academically and people were discussing where they had made mistakes and i was just sitting looking at my paper where i had failed by 2 marks in maths and just passed in science...i did not care...i did not give a flying fuck that i had failed...i felt extremely guilty inside about why i am not crying...then i went to the girl who was crying and i said "hey it's okay!! you scored really well and next time you will do better" with a full genuine smile...if it were the old me the first thing is i would never have scored this less and even if i did i would already be studying for the next exam to score more than those who got ahead of me...the thought did cross my mind and i still did not care...from that i came down to having to attend extra lectures of maths and science...old me would rather die...

Later on it did not matter if people bad mouthed me or if they fought with me and bought more marks than me..i did not have the fire to compete because i was like "i'm not getting anything from this anyway"

Then only since a past few years i started realising what a huge change i went through...what a huge mistake i had done...how i went from the topper to the student who attended extra classes and slept through math lectures...but still it was mentally so tough and exhausting for me to work hard again..i spent nights crying cuz i could not sit for even 15 minutes properly...attending counselling i've found it in myself to slowly come back to who i used to be...Now again after years i was again the topper of my class and watching students study in 12th more than me wakes up the competitive side of me making me think that no matter what there is no way i am letting my position go to someone else...three days was spent stressing and crying about others studying better than me but after that it was about "stop crying...get up, grab your book and study"...so i believe..if you were like this too and feel you have lost your spark and nothing can bring you back...you are wrong..you have it in you to wake that side of yourself again and fight with others that would actually benefit you...it is never too late...this is the time to stop crying over what has happened and take action and start working on what could happen 

thank you  <3

17/06/2026