Hello everyone!!
It has been a very, very long time. It's 3:30 AM as I'm writing this because my exams are close, and while taking a break from studying, I realized something I wish I had understood years ago.
From 3rd to 10th i have always wanted to be anyone but myself...i copied how others talked, how they behaved, they walked...i tried to mimic everything i thought was cool that others did...i even sometimes tried to dress like them...when you are developing your character it is very normal to do that. To observe how others behave and the possibility of them doing the same is also high...when my bars in studies started lowering i never thought how to bring it up back again because the easier thought was "i wish i was like that topper" and maybe that is why i took 4 years to gain back myself...
Everyone starts from different strengths, learns at a different pace, and has different talents...it is a line said by many but ignored by everyone because it is too common..but if you see, that is the key...maybe the topper understands things better and faster than you do but if you notice there would always be few kids who are much slower in understanding compared to you...they wish if they could be like you and you wish to be like someone else...funny...The part that matters is that you could be the topper but the struggle will be huge...we are just so used to being in our comfort zone that getting out of it is impossible...everything is available...served to us just like that...readymade! that whenever a time comes to get up and do something you can't...because now simple things are also out of your comfort...even writing an essay without AI is impossible for students these days...when your brain does not work at all...when you do not make it work how do you expect it to suddenly grasp everything a week before exams?!
You can never be like someone else...you can be the best version of you and the better version of someone you want to be like...but the willingness to struggle is what matters...i always was the person to think and hope to be like the topper of my class...to have knowledge about everything, participate in everything and be so confident about the fact that nobody can beat me in academics...but that thought never actually made me like that....
The journey of my betterment in studies started when i started accepting myself...understood my potential...how i could understand things...brushing and polishing my talents...my qualities and most importantly trying to ENHANCE things i was NOT good at!
People think toppers are made by studying for 12 hours a day. But those hours only matter if they're spent understanding, questioning, revising, testing yourself, and learning from mistakes. Even 30 minutes of focused study can be more valuable than hours of mindlessly reading...i used to mug up everything...i gained no knowledge so when it came to participating in speeches or anything like that i could never come up with ideas...now since few years i have started to begin from scratch...understanding what i am learning...i see the difference in myself...i see myself becoming smarter and more confident...you need to sit and think about where you stand right now and what you should do to reach where you want to be...today i am proud that i do not have to compare myself with anyone when it is related to studies because i have realised that my potential is different from others and if i work harder i can become better and that is the motivation i give myself...today, instead of wishing I were someone else... I want to become someone that my younger self would be proud of. If one day someone looks at me and feels inspired, I hope they don't try to become me. I hope they become the best version of themselves.
thank you<3
31-07-2026
