WHY IS LIFE? (PART2) {INNER VOICE}

 INNER VOICE 

Hello everyone!! hope all of you are having good, wonderful, happy and healthy days...

today i want to talk about another topic "the inner voice"...it is the part 2 of why is life...helping you to listen to your inner self...what your heart..your mind says...also shout out to my friend who wanted me to write a second part of "why is life?"..it actually made me feel like my content is helpful and interesting :)

Long ago when i was in 4th standard i remember my english teacher scolding a child in my class for stealing another child's belonging but then after she was done and made the child go back to his seat, she turned to the class and said "before you do anything wrong..something inside you tells you that what you are doing is a mistake...that voice even tells you to stop..sometimes you listen to it..sometimes you don't and for those who believe in lord..it is them telling you that what you are doing is marking a red sign on your profile.." 

What she said that day still has its place on my mind and every time i approach to do something mischievous a voice always tells me to stop but for me that voice was my 4th standard english teacher...she taught us something very valuable that day...about the "inner voice" that could never lead you the wrong way!

I won't lie to you...i still have done a lot of mischievous stuff and even some awfully huge mistakes in my life despite my inner voice telling me to stop..but do you know what i realised later? that i shouldn't have had done it..I always regretted it because it backfired to me...it taught me a lesson every time...and I realised that god really never does let you live life comfortably after you commit any mistake without facing the consequences of what you had done...well not just this is an inner voice...this way more of an spiritual approach..that is one side of this internal talk...now let us talk about it in another point of view!

have you ever sat down and talked to yourself? when you are about to sleep...all comfy and cozy on your bed and your mind drifts back to five years ago to that incident and think why you didn't do "this" that day or say "that" as a reply to the person who insulted you? and then you have a full blown conversation inside your head..well that is what we also call an "internal dialogue"...so research says that it is the brains function mechanism that causes you to HEAR your thoughts by actually not speaking it out!! how interesting is that? and it might actually surprise you to know that not everyone has this inner voice...in a way you are blessed if you do have it and that is only if you know how to control it because uh definitely bed time isn't the time to wake your inner voice (lol)

this voice is like a personal commentary that keeps on going about your life...you are always talking to it...and mostly we tend to attract the negative talks...and we get so deep into it that you often even consider them to be the truth about you.

If you don't use your internal monologue in a right manner it could actually demotivate you and your confidence...so it is very important to have it under control

The inner voice is built in you over an amount of time...now i will tell you about how my inner voice talks to me...i always tend to degrade myself... for example if someone tells me that i'm pretty... the voice in me says "they are just trying to get their things done...you can never be pretty"(why? because my relatives and some random people would tell me i'm ugly because i am not fair in color)...

My grandparents were amazing and i really really love both of them...but you know the old indian mentality...that always hit me..because i was born as a girl no one really wanted..accepting it out loud to everyone is difficult but anything to help you move past anything similar...when you are born as a girl in ur mothers side of the family it is celebrated but from your fathers side it should always be a son..i have an elder brother...and then i was born...nobody loved me really at first and many didn't until the last either...me and my brother don't have a "great" bond..just a normal bond...not very attached or anything...nobody actually wanted me other than my mom and that is also why she means so much to me because she fought for me...all alone...she is the person who wants be to become someone admirable in my life very desperately so that she could throw it to the face of those people who said i would never be able to do anything...my dadu(grandpa) was my only supporter other than my mom and dad in the family...sometimes even if my mom and dad forgot about me... my dear dadu never did...but sometimes you don't value what you have until you loose them forever because all i ever wanted back then was my dadis(grandmas) attention...i would always see her hug my brother so tight every time we visited her...kissed his cheek ever so lovingly and welcomed him into the house...sit besides him and ask him about his life it made me feel so unwanted that sometimes i would cry alone...My brother would say "nobody loves you here...everyone wants me and they don't care about you!" also it is not my brothers fault either because he was a child back then too and he had no idea how his words would impact me but that was when my inner voice started developing because every time i faced rejection or a simple compliment i would think "i don't deserve this" , "nobody wants me" or maybe i would say out loud that "you will realise i'm not that good when you get to know me"...The voices got worse when despite of having good grades in my class teachers preferred kids with "better connections" to be announced as the class monitors and when i finally got the chance after mustering up a lot of courage to ask she made me the "second" monitor again someone who nobody really cared about...I was not really confident to ask why i can't be the one...I even tried to write it down on a letter to my class teacher meaning to give it to her on teachers day but never did because i was scared,,,and maybe that lack of confidence was the reason but because of these incidents I could never build my inner voice in a positive way...but i still try and i am happy to tell you that it does work...i am not saying that now the voice only motivates me...it demotivates me 80% of the time but that 20% is what i try to believe...

My whole life...at least 85% of my life i have been avoided, rejected or looked down on by people because i was "uncool" and "nerdy" and that is the reason for my negative inner voice...but hey!! the truth that i have realised is...IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!! IT WAS THEM!...so you are not the one who was bad...you were just innocent...people put their opinions on you before you could even show them your true self...so always try to keep your thoughts positive..it will help you to have a better inner monologue...

Also one thing my brother said recently was "when there is a thought that is really disturbing you...especially when you are about to sleep...set an amount of time each day to think about it...try to come up with a solution and eventually you will grow bored thinking about it and you will move on"

as i wrap up..i would like to say that you always have an opportunity to change...even your thoughts..even your inner voice :)

 -thank you<3